summer run.

i don't know what to think right now. i want to graduate already, but i don't want to leave. well a part of me does, and part of me doesn't. it's like i'm excited for change yet i'm afraid of it as well.

aside from graduation, i'm just looking forward to college and getting a summer job. maybe perhaps i'll intern at the community hospital, but you know, no pay. i guess i rather get a job somewhere in the mall then, preferably at a retail store like pacsun or vans.

well, i'll start applying later because right now, i'm just sick and tired of everything. seems like i put so much effort but i get no return. i want to be free from this feeling.

no end.

well ohkay. i didn't win prom king, but every thing's going to be alright. on the bright side, that night was, how would i say it, kinda "magical'? with kinda being an understatement.

prom did make me realize a few things though. one of which is that life's been wonderful, but the timing is not. the year has gone by really quickly. its like i've fallen asleep this whole year and i just awoken now. as the end of senior year approaches, i also feel like more and more of my friends are moving apart. And that everyone is finding different alternatives to fill the void left behind, which isn't a bad thing. we all have to seek to be more independent after all. some find new hobbies while others renew old friendships or begin new ones. all of which, i think, are a little too late.

one by one, the days count down. the end is inevitable.

sensation.

i'm feeling too good to be nervous, too good to be afraid.
i truly enjoy this. i like her.

i'm going to rock the prom court scene. hopefully.

stupid thoughts.

im tired of things. frustration overwhelms me.

parental units.

i swear, my parents still don't see me as the full fledged 18 year old that i am. and to think, i used to be afraid of the idea of me growing up, but now i think it's they who are afraid. i mean, i already handle most of my problems as it is plus some of theirs. it just gets me so frustrated on the limitations that place on me. it just doesnt seem fair in my point of view because they always let me down in some form or another.

ay caramba.

one for the record books.

i'm not really one that would type my thoughts and spill any sort of feeling on a blog. in fact, i still can't imagine myself sitting here, trying to think what next to write. so i'm not too sure who or what is compelling me to do so. i remember the last time i wrote something remotely like a blog was in the eighth grade, and that brought a lot of overwhelming drama that ended my blogging days. i hope history won't repeat itself.

so how am i right now? well, i am senior in high school that used to live day to day, hoping something interesting would happen. but i like to think that i stopped hoping now because with hope, i always put myself venerable to great disappointments. this year so far has been characteristic of such letdowns and dissatisfactions; except recently.

actually, i'm not too sure how it will turn out. ahh, there i go again. now i'm hoping for the best.